| AMERICAN DREAMS | ||||||||
| I had to stare at something besides my coffee
something told me. And there was flashing money: a quarter and a dime left for the waitress were shining big as planets over Texas on a napkin. I had to hear this story she told the truckers, about her penniless father who'd rented a trailer outside Austin. Her father migrated south of trees where, black as coffee, treasures bubbled— or so he'd got the story on a spree— these lakes of oil, pools of money under the whole unpromising stretch of Texas. He'd blown his stake. Then, he married a waitress who passed this to her daughter, the way this waitress slid out eggs. She pocketed tips for her father's marker and mailed change weekly down to Texas. I had to listen to something besides the coffee sizzle in its pot or the register ringing money. Nothing stopped me hearing another story I told myself. It haunted me like stories heard when five; that someone was always waiting in diners, watching me, not plates, his money dwindling, but still alive. I knew my father was in that booth. With two men, gulping coffee, he was hunched. He'd been invited to Texas by men in bone-white hats who claimed, In Texas nothing grows but cactus. They're green as stories your fathers believed, as twenties. He sipped coffee, rattled tall tales, off the cuff, to the waitress, and spoke of checks in dry hands. Why was father talkative in this diner? I fumbled for money, his wallet I'd picked for years. I held the money, while men in dazzling boots were offering Texas and fossils (they didn't promise trees). My father wanted gold. His knack for telling stories half-believed, he'd willed to me. Our waitress filled bottomless cups until they gushed with coffee. And the old man finished coffee, lost for money, and swore he'd mail the waitress cash from Texas. Stories are spent; and what can I lend father? |
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